Identity – Discovery, Decisions, Determination

When it comes to your identity, you’ve probably heard of “identity theft” or “identity crisis” and you may have felt scared or anxious when thinking about these topics. What most people are scared to lose, they rarely stop to think about how it’s created and protected. I’m not talking about identity theft protection or ensuring your personal information isn’t leaked online, sure that’s important to us and we are triggered by the idea of losing our identity to the dangers of the world. Rather, I’m talking about the identity that forms your habits, thoughts and actions. This is the identity that someone couldn’t steal from us because it’s uniquely ours.

Identity is what drives your decision making. I talk a lot about conscious choices in this blog. Whether you’re making big life decisions or small daily choices, when you walk through life making them consciously you are honoring your identity. You’re saying in those moments that you know exactly who you are and what you stand for. You take action based on that understanding of yourself. But, what happens when you want to change? When you go from being a tv watcher to a gym goer, or you go from being a casual drinker to a sober friend. These are identity changes that we struggle to embrace and stick with.

See, I used to think I was lost. You may have also found yourself in this situation – wondering who you are, what your purpose is, and why you’re living this path. I used to question everything about my life, until recently when I listened to an amazing motivational video called Recreating your Identity.

Recreating Your Identity

In this video, the speaker talks about comfortability. He suggests that we all believe we are a certain person or on a certain life path because we are programmed to believe it is right for us and that we just need to embrace it and fall victim to it. He says that we look for change and we look for opportunities to grow, but our identity can actually get in our way. He says “your identity is going to literally go out of its way to deceive you, so that you go back to your old identity.” Isn’t it crazy to think our own self can get in the way of reaching a new potential. We’re tough beings…

But, he then goes on to talk about how we can recreate our identity, recreate who we are.

Consider the choice to be sober from drugs and alcohol. Consciously, I’ve not had alcohol in 30 days. But, a big part of my life has previously been to hang out with friends and family and enjoy a couple of drinks. We drink and dance, making a party out of any situation when we can be together. While I love that time with my family, drinking doesn’t need to be part of the equation to still be fun. However, I’ve sought comfortability in that. It’s familiar to me. Not participating scares me because it’s different.

But, as I learn to build my identity and become authentic and genuine to myself, this identity I create is just another conscious choice. In this motivational video that I watched, the speaker talks about going through four phases of transformation. These are:

  • Inception – the excitement stage: “ignorance on fire” you are so pumped up you are going on pure excitement
  • Deception – the moment of truth stage: “consciously incompetent” you may quit because you realize how hard it is to change
  • Transformation – the summit stage: “consciously competent” you are aware you’re getting results and you’ve made it through the hardest parts to see that things are actually working
  • Identity – the new you: “your new self” you have developed a whole new person and your new actions are now unconscious choices that you make every day

I like to think I’m in the Transformation stage of my new identity. With consistency and patience, I’m starting to make choices that are more in line with my new character and way of living. My new identity is just around the corner. I’m not sure how long the Transformation stage will need to last to finally be in that “unconscious competent” stage, but the key here is that you must make it through the Deception to get closer to change.

During those stages the conscious choices we make, as hard as they may be, are the most vital to creating lasting change. Today my mantra is to believe in my new identity and to consciously reinforce the actions and choices that make me who I AM.

Watch the full Recreate Your Identity video here, shared by No Limits.

What changes are you making to your identity? Leave a comment or find me on Instagram at IntentlyAmy.

Seeking Authenticity

An original poem about authenticity.

I love myself she said.
All the eyes darted toward her.
I’m unscripted she said.
Her papers flew out in every direction.
Stumbling through the room, gravity felt heavy.

I need to get some air she said.
Whispers filled the quietness like waves crashing on the shore.
There’s nothing here for me she said.
With a last glance back at envious, interested eyes, she walked into the distance.
Many are left behind when you pursue your truth.

Becoming an Authentic Self

As I looked up the definition of authentic, I had a really hard time with the dictionary. First, there are several sources that have a little bit of a different flare. My favorite out of all them was : of undisputed origin; genuine. This is just the definition you get from searching on Google, but out of them all it felt as if it carried the most weight. There is something about “undisputed” that really resonated.

Think for a moment about who you are. What is your identity? Where do you come from? What do you stand for? These elements of you are, these should be characteristics of your person that are truly undisputed. Miriam Webster defines authentic as : true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character. That’s fine I suppose, sure be true to your own, but now consider being undisputedly genuine. Like no one and no thing could argue that’s truly who you are.

Today felt like a good day to reflect on what makes me feel undisputedly like myself. As I continue to work on who I AM, writing out my identify and what I believe I stand for today, I think I struggle a bit like most people with what is genuinely me. I actually think with so much that I’ve done over the last several years of my life, I lost a little bit of what made me authentic.

It’s not an easy realization. It’s actually quite sad. But, slowly, as I’ve repaired my own brokenness and focused on gratitude, blessing and self growth, I’ve come to find pieces of me that make me more authentic than ever. There’s just one last task that remains when you begin to find your authentic self – you must fight to keep it.

Fight for all you have to stay genuine and authentic. Whether it’s using your voice, questioning your behaviors, denying the temptations or the allure of what others are trying to get you to do and say. These are all the battles we must face each day to stay real to ourselves.

Today, I”m reflecting on my genuine self. I’m defining my identity in detail. One thing I know I am for sure is a writer. I love to write. I’m passionate about words and what they mean. So, the poem I wrote above is real, it’s authentic. And although one of my greatest fears is sharing the writing I do for some weird human psychological reasons I can’t begin to unfold, I know that my only way through the fear is by just letting it free.

Just like the girl in the poem, when you pursue what is real to you – it often means you leave a lot in your wake. Whether that’s people or things, usually it’s for the best. Shedding those layers makes us more of who we are, but we have to be willing to let it all go for the pursuit of who we truly are.

Please share your thoughts in the comments or find me on Instagram at IntentlyAmy.