When it comes to your identity, you’ve probably heard of “identity theft” or “identity crisis” and you may have felt scared or anxious when thinking about these topics. What most people are scared to lose, they rarely stop to think about how it’s created and protected. I’m not talking about identity theft protection or ensuring your personal information isn’t leaked online, sure that’s important to us and we are triggered by the idea of losing our identity to the dangers of the world. Rather, I’m talking about the identity that forms your habits, thoughts and actions. This is the identity that someone couldn’t steal from us because it’s uniquely ours.
Identity is what drives your decision making. I talk a lot about conscious choices in this blog. Whether you’re making big life decisions or small daily choices, when you walk through life making them consciously you are honoring your identity. You’re saying in those moments that you know exactly who you are and what you stand for. You take action based on that understanding of yourself. But, what happens when you want to change? When you go from being a tv watcher to a gym goer, or you go from being a casual drinker to a sober friend. These are identity changes that we struggle to embrace and stick with.
See, I used to think I was lost. You may have also found yourself in this situation – wondering who you are, what your purpose is, and why you’re living this path. I used to question everything about my life, until recently when I listened to an amazing motivational video called Recreating your Identity.
Recreating Your Identity
In this video, the speaker talks about comfortability. He suggests that we all believe we are a certain person or on a certain life path because we are programmed to believe it is right for us and that we just need to embrace it and fall victim to it. He says that we look for change and we look for opportunities to grow, but our identity can actually get in our way. He says “your identity is going to literally go out of its way to deceive you, so that you go back to your old identity.” Isn’t it crazy to think our own self can get in the way of reaching a new potential. We’re tough beings…
But, he then goes on to talk about how we can recreate our identity, recreate who we are.
Consider the choice to be sober from drugs and alcohol. Consciously, I’ve not had alcohol in 30 days. But, a big part of my life has previously been to hang out with friends and family and enjoy a couple of drinks. We drink and dance, making a party out of any situation when we can be together. While I love that time with my family, drinking doesn’t need to be part of the equation to still be fun. However, I’ve sought comfortability in that. It’s familiar to me. Not participating scares me because it’s different.
But, as I learn to build my identity and become authentic and genuine to myself, this identity I create is just another conscious choice. In this motivational video that I watched, the speaker talks about going through four phases of transformation. These are:
- Inception – the excitement stage: “ignorance on fire” you are so pumped up you are going on pure excitement
- Deception – the moment of truth stage: “consciously incompetent” you may quit because you realize how hard it is to change
- Transformation – the summit stage: “consciously competent” you are aware you’re getting results and you’ve made it through the hardest parts to see that things are actually working
- Identity – the new you: “your new self” you have developed a whole new person and your new actions are now unconscious choices that you make every day
I like to think I’m in the Transformation stage of my new identity. With consistency and patience, I’m starting to make choices that are more in line with my new character and way of living. My new identity is just around the corner. I’m not sure how long the Transformation stage will need to last to finally be in that “unconscious competent” stage, but the key here is that you must make it through the Deception to get closer to change.
During those stages the conscious choices we make, as hard as they may be, are the most vital to creating lasting change. Today my mantra is to believe in my new identity and to consciously reinforce the actions and choices that make me who I AM.
Watch the full Recreate Your Identity video here, shared by No Limits.
What changes are you making to your identity? Leave a comment or find me on Instagram at IntentlyAmy.